.
I woke up in a grumbly mood. Today I hate the world. I hate that I got up half an hour later than I should have. I hate it that I got home so late last night that fell asleep in my office clothes. I hate getting up in the morning in my office clothes, hence I hate falling asleep in my office clothes.
And I hate it when I wake up thinking that there are a thousand things to do, and the first thing I plan to do (because it's a Friday) is to clip my nails. The most irritating thing is when you plan to clip your nails, but you can't find the nail-clipper. The issue is that when you start to dig into your deeply disturbed drawer for your nail-clipper, you realise what a mess your drawer is - and I HATE THAT! It just triggers the whole cause-and-effect thingy: I feel like my room is in a mess, I feel like my kitchen is in a mess, I feel like my house is in a mess - and it doesn't take me long to feel like my whole LIFE is in a mess. I just hate my life.
I stood up on a chair and surveyed my surroundings: sure enough, the house was in a mess. I hate it when my house is in a mess. I hate clothes lying about, I hate pots and pans out of order, and I hate dust on the window sill - and mostly I just hate it when I can't find something and everything is misplaced. It gets me constipated.
I need to write when I'm emotionally constipated, but the biggest hindrance is Facebook. I hate Facebook. I open my browser, and - WHAM! - Facebook! So many people keep doing so many uninteresting things, it is totally emotionally jarring. It gets me so distracted, I can hardly remember what it was i wanted to write.
The state of my mind in disarray is hateful. But mostly, I just hate it when I can't find my nail-clipper.
.
...dedicated to my friend Gaurav who taught me that its ok to feel what I'm feeling. I've seen him walk straight through so many of his "hate the world" episodes, I couldn't help but see the merits in it. :D
ReplyDeletewow man, sounds like my life in a snapshot.
ReplyDelete