Dhindora peeting

"Ya. We sat around the dining table and had a heated discussion - me, Sam, Mom and Bitiya Apa." Basma said to me.
She went on to elaborate, "We shouted it out at each other. I think it was pending because everyone was over-brimming with opinions. Basically, me and Sam were on one side, and Mom and Bitiya Apa were on the other side. And for an hour or so after dinner we shouted and screamed at each other, then we started dancing and laughing. Everyone was relaxed after that, so I guess it was a good thing."

Its the family ritual. Two weeks before Valentines Day, we absolutely MUST discuss the pros and cons of celebrating it. V-day is almost always celebrated in our family as the most talked about day of the year.

It starts from some sena doing their community service by making sure that couples behave in public by misbehaving with them. It escalates into why these things happen, what fuels the problem, and all sorts of random arguments like "Valentine's Day is not an Indian festival" and "Samaaj ki gandagi sab bahar nikal aati hai" and "Aaj kal ki muhabbat to koi muhabbat bhi nahi hai... hamare zamaane me..." so on and so forth forever more.

Its called the "advanced course", or being the "advanced citizen" - feeling society's ups and downs and having the sense of belonging, the sense of dependence that makes you realise that you're part of a whole. Too many people in the country live the "basic course", in their self-centered lives and small safe circles where what they say gets heard and everyone agrees. They live their lives preaching what they practice. We call it dhindora peeting.

The advanced course - the big boy's game - the big circle - the big pond - the big fish. One way to start is to start at home. That's my mom's mantra. If you want people to behave in a certain way, first behave in that way yourself. Practice what you preach and stop peeting the dhindora.